THE MIND OF THE NARCISSIST IS A DARK AND BARREN PLACE

Whose_Woods_Are_These_II_by_intao

Oh the dilemma of a narcissists. First he makes commitments he has no intention of honoring or keeping, but alas what is he to do?

He needs/craves his supply, yet this particular supply is well, dumb as a rock. The narcissists who needs to be constantly challenged finds himself in a quandary. “I need my constant supply, but I have found someone who has no respect for herself and no perceivable self esteem left to destroy, (not that she had all that much to begin with, this is, after all, that is why I targeted her) this person is boring and dumb. So easily manipulated and controlled, so easy to push around, treat like crap, and she just takes me back over and over again. I hardly have to try.

This is leaving me bored, feeling commonplace, like everyone else. Do I really wish to spend the rest of life feeling unchallenged, un-full-filled and empty inside.? How will I have my cake and eat it to?

And so I plot and plan, and plan some more. Keeping my eyes open for those opportunities, ready to pounce when they reveal themselves and make my quick exit. I have my eye on several new, more suitable targets. Even actively grooming one of them. Testing her boundaries and character.

I go out of my way to create drama and ciaos in my current relationshit, (I need the rush like a junkie in withdraw needs a hit) I triangulate, I passively leave my email or FB up knowing/hoping she will “catch” me in suspicious flirting and inappropriate behaviors. I infuse mistrust and doubt in her mind. Yet this is all too easy and it no longer satisfies my lust of power and control. It has become as shooting fish in barrel or taking candy from a baby.

It is so pathetic how she tries so hard to prove to me she is worthy of my time, attention and “love”, even as I mistreat her. The more I mistreat her, the harder she tries. The harder she tries, the less respect I have for her. Gratitude is as foreign to me as quantum physics. I am both flattered and disgusted by her groveling at my feet. Begging for scraps.

Yes, the narcissist needs more. MUCH, much more.

Will he find his way out of this commonplace, boring life and find someone who truly challenges him, someone more matching his status, intellect, more in his league?.

Rest assured, he will my friends, he always will. Over and over and over again.

Never envy them. They are the pathetic creatures that roam the earth and spread misery. We are the cure. We spread the light of awareness into their darkness and banish them.

~Boots~ Narc Abuse Survivors: These “Boots” are made for walkin

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6 thoughts on “THE MIND OF THE NARCISSIST IS A DARK AND BARREN PLACE

  1. This actually hurt my soul to read this….even after 7 months no contact and a VAST amount of knowledge, reading this aroused such a strong memory because this is exactly what they are doing. Thank you for being part of this survivor’s knowledge base.

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  2. I am not DUMB, in fact, the opposite, yet I got taken in by a Narc, actually because I did’nt believe there could be such cold heartless people who effortlessly lie to get what they want. I broke contact, so if it makes you dumb to want to be good to someone…I don’t know. I find the biggest challenge is not to become hard and distrusting of everyone around me after this experience. I feel I’ve learnt lessons, but I’m the strong one here, because I could walk away before my selfworth was destroyed. I was and still am a challenge to him, because I didn’t sleep with him, I hope it hounds him till the end of time that he never “had” me. Yes, I see I’ve been replaced with a subservient, dependent girl that HAS to swallow whatever he dishes out, but sorry, Sir, I am not DUMB – I’m the one who got away even though you’ve scorched my soul.

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    1. None of their victims are dumb. Most are highly intelligent, strong, compassionate. This is written from the inner monologue of the narcissists. Hence the title “The mind of the narcissists”. Hope you didn’t think I was accusing victims of being dumb and weak. It is the inner thoughts of the narcissists that he believes of his victims. It’s the old….”I wouldn’t want to belong to a club who would have me for a member”. I hope that clears it up.

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  3. Is it possible to be just a little narcissistic? I think my husband is one but not everyday and not very often. He is very arrogant. His second affair I busted him on he said ” your not going to leave me over this” I said if you want her go he said she would not leave her husband no apology nothing. I laughed in side and won’t let him ever touch me again. I stay in the marriage because I am better off with him than without him. Things he says he expects me to get pissed etc but I totally ignore his comments and I think he is floored, inside I just laugh and call him a dumbass. I feel more powerful than ever. I just don’t talk or respond to his insults. I really don’t think he sees it this way.

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    1. being able to practice grey rocking is an excellent skill. eventually the best way to heal is no contact. do you really want to spent the rest of your life with this behaviour and all that you get is being highly disrespected?it’s hurtful.but dont worry ..you will feel empowered every day and will leave.they will NEVER change honey..not unless they want something from you and it’s only temporary.it’s a skill that will kill your soul.he will NEVER see his way it will always be your fault.make a worthy life for yourself x

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