Oh the dilemma of a narcissists. First he makes commitments he has no intention of honoring or keeping, but alas what is he to do?
He needs/craves his supply, yet this particular supply is well, dumb as a rock. The narcissists who needs to be constantly challenged finds himself in a quandary. “I need my constant supply, but I have found someone who has no respect for herself and no perceivable self esteem left to destroy, (not that she had all that much to begin with, this is, after all, that is why I targeted her) this person is boring and dumb. So easily manipulated and controlled, so easy to push around, treat like crap, and she just takes me back over and over again. I hardly have to try.
This is leaving me bored, feeling commonplace, like everyone else. Do I really wish to spend the rest of life feeling unchallenged, un-full-filled and empty inside.? How will I have my cake and eat it to?
And so I plot and plan, and plan some more. Keeping my eyes open for those opportunities, ready to pounce when they reveal themselves and make my quick exit. I have my eye on several new, more suitable targets. Even actively grooming one of them. Testing her boundaries and character.
I go out of my way to create drama and ciaos in my current relationshit, (I need the rush like a junkie in withdraw needs a hit) I triangulate, I passively leave my email or FB up knowing/hoping she will “catch” me in suspicious flirting and inappropriate behaviors. I infuse mistrust and doubt in her mind. Yet this is all too easy and it no longer satisfies my lust of power and control. It has become as shooting fish in barrel or taking candy from a baby.
It is so pathetic how she tries so hard to prove to me she is worthy of my time, attention and “love”, even as I mistreat her. The more I mistreat her, the harder she tries. The harder she tries, the less respect I have for her. Gratitude is as foreign to me as quantum physics. I am both flattered and disgusted by her groveling at my feet. Begging for scraps.
Yes, the narcissist needs more. MUCH, much more.
Will he find his way out of this commonplace, boring life and find someone who truly challenges him, someone more matching his status, intellect, more in his league?.
Rest assured, he will my friends, he always will. Over and over and over again.
Never envy them. They are the pathetic creatures that roam the earth and spread misery. We are the cure. We spread the light of awareness into their darkness and banish them.
~Boots~ Narc Abuse Survivors: These “Boots” are made for walkin