Telling a victim to “just move on” is like telling a turtle to walk faster.
I would like to share my thoughts on “moving on”. First, what the hell does that even mean? I wonder, is there such a thing? Doesn’t everyone have different definition of what “moving on” is or looks like?
In my mind, there is a difference between “moving on” and “moving forward”.
Since abuse cannot be forgotten, then I contend there is no such thing as “moving on” from it. If you lose your arm, can you move on without it? Or do you move forward without it? Would someone ever suggest that you “move on” from losing your arm? One could hardly forget their arm is now gone. You simply “accept” that it is and move forward. You move forward in the knowledge that you are forever changed. You are never going to be as you were before. So I personally reject the myth of “moving on”.
It’s the abuser who “moves on”. He “moves on” to another victim, over and over and over again. But he NEVER, EVER moves forward. He simply moves on to another victim. Repeats the cycle, even repeats the same things within his new fake relationship, he sticks to his script, plays out the same movie, different sets and actors are the only things that change.
From the outside looking in he/she happily constructs a facade of “moving on” for public consumption. That is all he/she is doing. He/She is moving on to toward the discard, on their way to a new victim. Their life is circular, yours is linear.
All that is required of you is that you “move forward”.
What are your thoughts?