© 2014 Narc Abuse Survivors: These “Boots” are made for wallkin
THE TALE OF BOOTS AND TINA.
Upon my return from visiting Holly in Hilton Head I was out for my daily run. Trying to work off the stress and frustration. Still struggling to make sense of what was happening to our family. At the same time my marriage was coming to an end as well. Trying imagine what lies Tami and Jim could have told our father to enrage him to attack me. As I ran past my sister Tina’s house, I decided to stop in for a visit, maybe some support. After all she was there for me on the evening of the attack. In my shock that night, I drove to my older sister’s house and told her..”Dad just attacked me”. As she tried to calm me down, we began to discussed the events in the family and the business that lead up to this. That night would mark the beginning of the end. Those details I will share later.
Well on this day I wasn’t at her home long when my parents drove up. At which point my sister forced me to hide in the back yard. I naively thought it was for my safety considering my father’s threat and recent signs of stress and imbalance. The family business wasn’t doing well, my mother in the throws of dementia or Alzheimer disease, we were not sure at this point. Up until this point I was the only daughter helping out with her. Stopping over to make sure she had bathed and give my father a break. We were all concerned about her condition and didn’t feel like Dad was taking care of her in the way she needed.
As I hid in the back yard, staring at their well groomed gardens and the sparking swimming pool of their sprawling Tudor style home and thinking…how did it come to this? It seemed surreal. I was out there for at least 45 minutes, it didn’t seem they would be leaving anytime soon, I began to cry and just wanted to go home. I slipped through the back yard, keeping my head down, over the neighbor’s fense. I walked home the long way so that my parents would not see me should they happen to leave her home. Often when I was out running I kept an eye on passing cars in the event it could be my father and in fear of him losing his temper at the sight of me, just as it did during my childhood, I feared that he may attempt to hit me with his car in a rage.
As I walked home it occurred to me how unfair this was. If the situation had been reversed, I would stand up to my parents in defense of my sister. I was insulted, hurt, angry and disappointed and devalued.
I called her when I got home to inform her of my feelings. Her only response was….”but they were taking Sammy (her daughter) shopping”. No apology, no remorse. It was at that moment I came to realize she did not ask me to hide for my safety, she didn’t want to miss the opportunity of her daughter having a shopping spree. A shopping spree they could well afford on their own. She didn’t want to risk being disowned by our father as our sister Holly was. I was sold out for nothing more than a shopping spree.
The reality was, she simply did not wish for the gravy train to end.
Narcissists will not miss an opportunity to use their wealth to control and manipulate those around them.
See pics of Tina’s home below